


Hush

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: AU, Angst, First Time, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:51:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair is in charge and the library and meets Jim a completely different way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hush

Hush... –

Patt

 

TA Blair Sandburg worked evenings at the University Library. He needed the money. He sure didn't need the extra hours, but he was able to study more and continue to find himself a Sentinel. The more he could find out, the more it would help. 

Mr. Sandburg was well loved by all of the students that came in to the library, even though he was very strict. His favorite word there was, "Hush." He wanted them to study. To Blair Sandburg, learning was the most important thing in the world. Knowledge would never be a bad idea. 

Every night a nice looking man came into the library and went right to a certain section upstairs. He never asked for help. Blair was disappointed about that. He was about 6' 1" and very buff. Blair decided right then and there he wanted this man and he was going to have him. Damn it! He could tell Mr. Buff was straight. Shit! His new name was going to be Stud or Mr. Stud and depending on what his cock looked like he could call him Stud Missile. Blair knew he was getting crazed from a lack of sex. Even if he didn't have a missile, he'd still be wild about the man. 

That night he walked upstairs to get a closer look at his stud and found him studying. "Is there anything you need?" Blair asked him. 

Stud turned to Blair and said, "No, thank you." Then he went back to studying. 

Blair was amazed at how taken stud was with him. Not! Blair let out an almost hysterical giggle. Everyone looked at him. "I have a test tomorrow, I'm nervous." Everyone gave him that look, like, 'poor baby' and went back to their studies. 

After about four weeks of watching Mr. Stud from afar, Blair decided he had to make a play for him. 

Stud came through the door and Blair asked, "Want to go have coffee tonight?" 

"No, thank you." And he walked up the stairs to the same place he always sat. 

Wow, he was just winning him over. Maybe he needs a bib for the drool while staring at Blair. Dream on, Sandburg. Lack of sex is making you insane. Blair got busy doing his work, for a change, and didn't even notice what time it was. Everyone was gone. Blair walked up the stairs to make sure everything was put away and found Mr. Stud still studying. "You have to leave; it's time for me to lock up." 

"What would it take for me to stay another couple of hours?" Stud asked. 

"I have no idea what you mean." Blair had seen a lot of movies and he was being coy. 

"Do you want to fuck me or not?" Stud asked. 

Blair stood back and gave him a once over. He didn't want to appear too eager. Blair then wondered if he would have to pay Stud for him to be able to fuck him. This just seemed too easy. After much thought he came to his senses. 

"Hell, yes. Let me go and lock the door." Blair came running back up the stairs and said, "I made sure there was no one else in the building. We're safe. Oh fuck, I don't have a condom. Hell! I don't have lube, either." 

Stud handed him a bottle of lotion and said, "This will do. I'm clean, fuck me." 

Blair was like a robot. He wouldn't normally fuck anyone without a condom but he wasn't even questioning this. Stud proceeded to strip and then Blair followed suit. Stud could indeed be called stud missile. He leaned over the table and Blair started getting him ready. 

"Oh god, it's been so long." Stud called out. 

"Why?" 

"I couldn't get it up. I had some problems. Who really cares? Fuck me, Sandburg." 

"Listen here, Stud, I'm the boss right now. So move those legs further apart and get ready for the fucking of your life." 

"Stud?" 

"That's what I've been calling you in my mind for the last five weeks." Blair answered. Then he started to push into Stud's hot hole and said, "Oh, you are so fucking tight." 

He began fucking him and then started stroking Stud's erection. It was very impressive. Soon Stud came shouting Sandburg and Blair came shouting Stud. Blair kissed Stud's back and said, "Thank you. This was great. I loved it." 

"You can have it every night if you let me study after everyone leaves. I need the quiet and less scents around me." Stud offered the deal. "I like your scent. They never bother me at all." 

"Sometimes will you do me?" Blair asked. 

"If you want me to. Do we have a deal?" Stud asked hopefully. 

Blair nodded with a smile. I mean, did he look like an idiot? He hoped not. He probably had some type of stud back head and most likely looked bad. 

Jim went back to studying while Blair did the same. He went into the restroom to clean up and check his hair. He indeed did have Stud Back head. Then he went back to work, finishing up quickly. Before long it was two hours later. 

Blair asked, "What's your name?" 

"I like Stud. It has a nice ring to it." 

"Mine is Blair." 

Stud put his book back on the shelf and said, "Night, Blair." He then walked out the door. 

Blair watched Stud's back and thought he was no better than a fucking whore. The young Professor to be was suddenly very sad. Except, man, he didn't even get paid. Maybe he hadn't shown him a good enough time. 

Get a hold of yourself, Sandburg. He's never going to say anything about how he feels about it to you. 

For the next five weeks, Blair allowed Stud to stay late and Stud insisted on one of them fucking the other to make it right. Blair noticed that Stud seemed to really enjoy it, so why wasn't Blair? At first it had been wonderful, but now he felt like a slut… and not a good kind of slut. 

He felt like a slut, taking advantage of another slut. Geeze, things couldn't get much worse. 

For a week, Stud didn't come in and Blair found himself missing him. He didn't know his actual name, so he couldn't call him. 

He could picture the phone call to the Police Department now. "Yes, officer, my lover is missing. I haven't seen him in a week. His name is Stud. What's his last name? Lee. Stud Lee." Yes, this is exactly how it would go. Blair started laughing to himself and everyone in the Library looked at him like he had lost it completely. 

The door opened and Stud walked in making Blair's face light up. 

Stud smiled at him and then walked up stairs. All of the students were leaving and Blair locked up. He walked upstairs and found Stud getting undressed already. 

"Hold on. Where were you? I was worried." Blair asked. 

"I don't ask where you are. You don't ask where I am." Stud leaned over the table, naked and Blair hated himself because he was hard as a rock, seeing this naked man. Needing this man. Wanting this man. He prepared Stud, but this time, he went slowly. He kissed and nipped at Stud's back as he went. He knew it was working because Stud was begging. Blair didn't listen. Blair was going to make this man fall in love with him. He also was going to make him pay for the daydream he had of the call to the police calling him Stud Lee. 

"Could I take you out some time?" Blair asked as he cleaned Stud's body up. 

"No, I told you I don't date, and I especially don't date guys." Stud was an idiot with a really nice penis. And if he didn't watch himself, Blair was going to start calling him Stud Muffin instead of Stud, Stud Lee or Stud Missile. 

"So you just like to fuck them? Not date them?" Blair asked sounding irritated. 

"Exactly. I can't have this in my life. Sorry." Stud acted like that explained everything. 

"Well, have fun studying, I'm going to get my papers graded and then I'll call you when it's time to leave." Blair walked down those stairs and didn't bother looking at him. 

He missed out on the look on Jim's face. One that showed Stud did want to date men but was afraid. Blair could have helped him with it. 

Blair called up when it was time and locked up and walked out to the parking lot. He remembered he left something upstairs and had to get it. Unlocking the door he ran to get the book he needed for his students tomorrow. As he passed the table that Stud sat at, he saw Stud had left the book out. He had never done that before. Blair recognized it. It was Burton's, The Sentinels of Paraguay. Blair was doing a lot of work on this exact thing. Why would Stud be reading that? 

When Blair got back out to the parking lot, Stud said, "Feel like company?" Blair jumped off the ground and yelled at him. "Geeze, you scared the crap out of me." 

"You should really be more aware of your surroundings. I could have been someone bad." Stud lectured. 

"I don't know how to tell you this, Stud, but you are bad." Blair's smile was so bright, it could light the way to their vehicles. 

"Flattery will get you everywhere. I was wondering if you felt like company." Stud asked. 

"What's your fucking name?" 

"I want to keep it like it is for now. Please?" Stud started to move away from Blair. 

"Follow me, and you can spend the night." Blair drove home wondering what he was doing. He normally didn't ask strangers to his apartment. Stud made him crazy, it was as simple as that. 

As he locked up his car, Stud scared him again. "You're not paying attention." Jumping a foot off the ground, he yelled, "That's because I knew you were right behind me. Why watch? You're a bigger target." 

"That's not nice to make fun of someone just because they're bulky." Stud teased. 

"Bulky? I think not. Studly, yes, but not bulky." Blair stood on his tip toes and kissed Stud quickly. "Follow me." 

"Have you had anything to eat because I'm starving?" Stud asked. 

"I'll order something and have it delivered and we can lie in bed and wait." Blair made sure clean sheets were on the bed and then asked Stud what he would like for dinner. 

"Whatever is good for me. Not too much spice and I prefer chicken or beef." Stud called out to Blair while he was on the phone. 

Blair ordered some different things for him to try and then lay on the bed with him and watched the late breaking news. 

Blair moved in closer and began to kiss his very own Stud Muffin and was just getting into it, big time, when Stud moved away from him. "Food's here, Chief." 

"Chief? Is there something I don't know?" Blair got off the bed and Stud handed him money from his wallet. As Blair walked away he thought to himself, 'Self, you are a whore. Bought and paid for.' 

He brought plates and silverware into the bedroom and set the food all over the bed. "Chief, we could go and eat in the kitchen." 

"Do I ever fucking do anything that pleases you?" Blair shouted and walked into the bathroom. 

In a hushed whisper, he said, "It's not like he knows you feel like a prostitute. He doesn't know that paying for dinner was like saying you were a slut. And he won't tell you his name. You don't know anything about him. He doesn't like you anyhow. And what do you do? You fall in love. You're so pathetic." 

Stud knocked on the door and said, "Hey. I'm sorry I insulted you. I would never think you were a prostitute. I like you too much and I would never call you a slut. I don't want to tell you my name until it's comfortable for me, too. I'll tell you things about me as time goes on. And you're so wrong about me not liking you. I not only like you, I think I'm falling in love with you, too." 

Blair opened the door and smiled. "Really? And how in the hell did you hear what I said anyhow?" 

"Really. Come and eat and we'll talk some more. I was standing outside the door when you said it." Stud led him into the bedroom and once they ate, they made love. There was no talking; only loving. But when Stud was done, he held Blair close and said, "Can we start with I really like you first?" 

"Could I please just have a first name? I want to say I like you someone, not I like you stud." 

"For right now, we're going to keep it like it is. In six weeks, if you still want to be with me, I'll tell you my first name." 

"Whoa, really opened up there, didn't ya?" Blair teased as Stud grabbed his butt and squeezed. 

"Take it or leave it." 

"I like you, Stud." In the back of his mind he was saying, I fucking love you, stud. 

The next week, Stud studied and when he would come down, every night he asked Blair to go somewhere. One night, they went to a blues club and Blair had the best time he'd had in years. That night Stud had come back with a horrible headache and Blair had to talk to him for a long time to get him to relax. Stud told Blair it had something to do with the smoke in those places. Blair wondered. 

Blair realized when he looked at Stud, that this was Stud's idea of dating. Holy shit! We're dating. He's fucking dating me. 

One night they went to an opera that Stud said he was quite fond of. He loved Italian. Blair had not heard this one and fell in love with it. The following day, Stud brought him a CD of the opera. Blair thought it was one of the most romantic things he felt in a good long time. And even though Stud seemed to enjoy himself, he had one of those horrible headaches when they got back to the apartment again. Blair taught him deep breathing exercises. They seemed to be doing the trick. 

The phone rang at the desk in the library and Blair picked it up, saying, "Rainier Cascade Library. Can I help you?" 

"Blair?" Stud asked softly. 

"Hey S. What's up?" 

"I'm not going to be there and I just wanted to let you know. I don't want you to worry. I'll see you tomorrow night, Chief. I'll miss you." 

"I'll miss you, too, man. I like you." Blair hung up the phone with an odd feeling in his chest. He called him so he wouldn't worry. He said he missed him. Stud might really love him and Blair wasn't sure how he felt about that. Scared shitless might be a good description. 

The following night, Stud made reservations at a Japanese restaurant that stayed open very late. It was one of those that chops up everything and cooks it right in front of you. Stud loved this place because it didn't have too much spice. Now he hoped that Blair would like it, too. 

They had stopped fucking at the library because they went to Blair's apartment instead. Blair walked upstairs to see if Stud needed anything and Stud smiled at him. 

"You coming to my house tonight?" 

"Yes, but I'm taking you somewhere special first. So don't munch on anything." Stud ordered. 

Blair looked down and saw he had the Sentinel book out again and said, "I didn't know anyone but me would be interested in Sentinels." 

"You've read this?" 

"Not only read it, but have based many studies on it. I've got about 40 students for my research paper that have different senses that are heightened. I was looking for a full blown Sentinel. But so far, the farthest I've come is three senses. But it was enough to get my research funded and it's my paper to become a PHD." 

"So you know a lot about these Sentinels?" 

"Well, of course I do. I mean, this book is interesting, but it doesn't explain about many things that I've learned while working with the 40 students." Blair loved talking about this subject. 

"I'm writing some reports on it, so how about you talking to me each night up here about something you figured out that wasn't in the book?" 

"Oh man, that would be fun. I like that idea." Blair was practically hopping by this time. Blair was a born teacher that was for sure. 

So the weeks went on and Stud continued to take Blair out to different places and in turn Blair sat with him every night for at least an hour, while Stud took notes on what Blair talked about that evening. 

Blair was very excited one night as he told him about the dials. Once he explained, Stud wrote it down and smiled at him. Stud figured this would help him a great deal. 

"Hey, wanna sleep over tonight?" Blair asked with his sweet smile. 

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot." 

Once they got to Blair's apartment, Blair said, "So, it's been a lot longer than six weeks and I still don't have a name." 

"Why is that so important to you?" Stud asked. 

"No reason." Blair said it calmly but looked disappointed. 

While making love that night Blair was really getting into fucking Stud and he said, "I love you, Stud. I love you." 

And Jim moaned as he said, "Jim." 

Blair pulled out of him and said, "Fuck you." Then he walked into the bathroom. 

"Chief, what did I do wrong?" 

"You asshole, you called me by someone else's name." Stud could tell he was heartbroken. 

"Come out here so I can tell you why." 

Blair opened the door and whispered, "Why?" 

"Jim is my name, doofus." 

"Oh! Well, in that case, let's go back to what we were doing. Jim is a great name. I love you, Jim." Blair dragged him back to the bed where they made love off and on all night long. 

Jim was getting out of bed the next morning and Blair said, "You're married, aren't you?" 

"I'm not married." 

"You live with someone, right?" Blair knew there had to be some reason he kept his name a secret for so long. 

"No, I live alone." Jim hoped that Blair was done with questions for the night. 

"You're in love with someone. A man, but can't tell anyone about it?" 

"Wrong again, Chief. Well, okay, not wrong. I'm in love with a man but you know all about him." 

"I need to know why you won't let me in. I have to know why I can't know your entire name, where you work and how you feel about me." Blair was sticking to his guns. 

"I don't trust easily, Blair. So just let me work on it for awhile and then we'll go from there. All right?" Jim hoped that Blair would go along with his plan. "And I told you just a moment ago that I was in love with a man and you knew all about him." 

"Me?" 

"Yeah, you. Do you see anyone else in this apartment?" 

After a time, Blair finally said, "You're going to hurt me, aren't you?" 

"Blair, I would never hurt you. Never. I like you too much." 

"Then talk to me." Blair was giving an ultimatum. 

"Are you saying I tell you everything or else?" Jim growled. 

"That's exactly what I'm telling you." 

Jim started getting dressed and got his keys. "Nice knowing you, Chief." Jim reached for the doorknob. 

"I told you that you were going to hurt me. You're such a fucker." Blair stormed into his bedroom and laid on his bed. 

Jim walked out the door able to hear the soft sobs coming from Blair's room. It wasn't fucking time to tell him yet. There is no way that cops would understand this kind of relationship. His boss wouldn't understand. His friends wouldn't understand. Not to mention he needed to get this Sentinel crap worked out so he could do his job correctly. Blair would be better off without him in the long run. 

Jim kept telling himself that all the way to his loft. While he showered he kept getting hard thinking about Blair. This would have to stop. He couldn't walk around with a hard-on all the time. 

The next evening when he walked into the library, he stopped at the desk and asked, "Can we still have the original arrangement?" 

"No. Sorry, I close at 11:00 p.m. If you're not done, tough shit." Blair didn't even look at him. 

"Chief, please? I have to get some studying done. I just got off. You close in ten minutes." Jim wasn't above begging. 

"I'll think on it." Blair glared at him and Jim walked up the stairs to get away from the nasty look. 

He got everyone out at 11:00 and locked up. When he got up stairs he said, "Come down here." 

Jim followed him downstairs and the desk in front of the front doors that had open windows was the one he wanted to use. 

"Chief, I'm not fucking you in front of all of those kids out in the parking lot." 

"Okay, that's fine. I'll fuck you." 

"You're not fucking me in front of all of those kids, either." Jim was getting pissed. 

"Make your choice." Blair was also pissed. 

"Fine, I'll get my things and leave. Fuck you, Sandburg." Jim stormed off to get his notes. 

Blair followed him up there and said, "I'm sorry. I was being an asshole. You hurt me and I was trying to hurt you back. You can stay. You don't have to service me to stay." 

"Chief, I want you to fuck me." 

"In that case, I'd be glad to. Get naked, big man." Blair smiled at the love of his life. Yes, he's still the love of your life. He just doesn't realize it yet. He's going to. 

"I have an idea." Blair said as he slid his cock into Jim's ass. 

"Now wouldn't probably be the best time to tell me about it." 

"Anyhow, I'm going to expect one piece of information about you each and every night. I, in turn, will do the same thing. I'll start. I love the idea of you calling me baby. I have never wanted that before, but for some reason with you, it seems to make me about come just thinking about it." Blair was starting to go a little faster in Jim's ass. 

"Chief, I can't fucking think. I love what you're doing to my ass. Can we wait?" Jim was panting by this time. 

"Now." 

"I'm allergic to cherries. So I was never able to have them on my cheesecake, which happens to be my favorite dessert. Oh god, Chief. Just like that… give it to me harder. Come on, baby. Just like that." 

Blair started pounding into Jim's ass and also fisted Jim's cock. Before long Jim was coming with a yell and Blair followed suit. 

"Can you have strawberries?" Blair asked as he laid across Jim. 

"I love strawberries. Why?" 

"Because I'm making you cheesecake with strawberries for calling me baby. I'll make it tonight if you want to come home with me." 

"I'll follow you home." Jim was very happy. 

"I just have to stop and get my things at the store. I love you, man." 

Both men started kissing like mad and Jim said, "I really do care for you, Blair. I care for you like no other." 

"You can't say I love you, can you?" Blair asked. 

"I've said it a couple of times and they left me. Give me time, baby." 

So this is how life went on for the next four or five weeks. Sharon walked up to Blair and asked, "So who is the woman you're in love with?" 

"Sharon, I'm dying to talk to someone. Can I take you to lunch?" Blair inquired. 

"You bet. I can't wait to hear all about it." 

They went to their favorite spot and got a booth. Sitting close to each other so they could talk quietly, Blair began telling her all about Stud. He told her how long they'd been sleeping together and how he was totally in love with him. 

"Blair, you can't be in love with someone that hasn't told you his last name yet. You need to meet his family. You need to do a lot of things. No falling in love until all of that is met. Understood?" Sharon was angry. 

"All right, I'll start putting some pressure on him. He's so nice. He loves me, he just can't admit to it. He's scared. He's built like you would not believe but he's a big ole pussy cat." Blair was rambling and Sharon started to laugh. 

"Blair Sandburg, you are officially in love. Now tame that man and get him roped in." 

"What did you do this weekend? Did you watch a western?" Blair laughed as they began to eat. 

That night when Jim came in he went upstairs as always and once Blair locked up he walked up there and found Jim thinking. 

"A penny for your thoughts." Blair whispered. 

"I have a father and a brother who live in Cascade." Jim blurted out. 

"Well, that's nice. Do you see them?" 

"No. I haven't seen them in years. But I really miss Steven." Jim looked sad that evening. 

"I have a mother, named Naomi, who comes into my life at the most inopportune times. She's nosy and bossy, but I love her dearly. You'll like her too, if you ever want to meet her, I mean." Blair tried not to push Jim too much. 

"Blair, if I told you something would anyone else have to know?" 

"No one has to know." 

"I think I love when you fuck me more than when I fuck you. I always thought that would make me weak. So I don't know why I'm feeling this way. The only time I seem connected is when I'm bottoming for your cock." Jim had his head hanging and Blair could see him blushing. 

"Jim, there's nothing wrong with that. I love doing both, but if you would ask me to be honest, I think I like topping better. So we make a good couple. Right?" Blair asked hopefully. 

"Blair, I really, really like you." Then Jim kissed him with such passion that Blair got hard instantly. 

"Want to stay at my house tonight?" Blair asked him. 

"That would be great." Jim smiled up at him. 

"What do you think of moving in with me?" Blair asked. 

"No, that's not a good idea at all. I'll ruin it. Trust me." Jim wanted him to understand. 

"You gave me two things tonight, so would you like one more from me?" 

"Yeah, I want another one from you, Chief." 

"Okay, I like to do things in public. Like if we were at a movie theater, I would want you to take my pants down and play with me and then pull me onto your lap and play until I come. Or at a fancy restaurant, I want you to fist me till I come. We could go to an art museum and you and I would go into the handicapped stall and you would fuck me senseless." Blair just stood back and looked at Jim's face. 

"Holy shit! I can't believe you said all of that. So you like people seeing that I do things to you?" Jim asked. 

"Oh yeah. Big time. Well, I would prefer it if it was at night. I don't want them to be able to see my face that well." 

"Follow me, Chief." And the two went out the front door and Jim could see four people in a car, clear across the large parking lot, talking. Jim turned Blair to him and began to kiss him as his hand unzipped Blair's jeans. The people in the car saw something was about to happen and were all getting out to watch. Jim pulled Blair's jeans down and then his boxers. He was naked to anyone and everyone that would come by. It was dark, but people could use their imaginations. Jim then turned him around and began fisting Blair's cock. Jim could hear the people in the car getting excited and wanting to do something for themselves. 

Jim leaned in to Blair and whispered, "Look across the parking lot, baby. Do you see them? There are four of them and they are so turned on they don't know what to do. I want you to come for them, baby. Come for me, baby. Come now, baby." 

Blair let out a roar and came all over himself and Jim. He licked Blair's neck and said, "Liked that, did ya?" 

"Oh yeah. I fucking loved it, Jim. Thank you. God, you're the hottest fucker I've ever had." Blair began to kiss him and Jim said, "Hold that thought. I want to study and then we can stay at your place tonight." Jim cleaned him off and pulled Blair's pants up and they walked back in the library. 

Blair finished grading his papers while Jim studied more of the book. When he came down, Blair was ready to go. As usual, he locked up and then Jim followed him over to his place. Blair hoped to someday see Jim's place. Oh for Pete's sake. You know damn well he's not going to do anything. He gets to fuck you and not even tell you his last name. You're still a whore. Blair was really starting to hate his conscience. 

Once there he went right up instead of waiting for Jim like he usually did. When Jim drove up, he knew something was wrong. 

He walked in Blair's front door and said, "I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise." 

"Do what?" Blair asked. 

"Whatever it is that I did to make you angry with me." 

"You didn't do anything, but I do want to talk to you. And we might need a short break." Blair sat at the kitchen table and then Jim knew he was in trouble. 

He sat across from Blair and said, "Shoot." 

"Jim, I need more. I'm sorry about it. It's no one's fault but I need more. So I want to break it off." 

"Chief, what do you mean? More what?" 

"I want more of you in my life. I don't know you enough. Not your last name or where you work. It's just too weird. I'm sorry, but I want to break up." Blair tried to stay calm. 

"How about if I work on it? I'll try. Every day I'll give you more and more information about me. God, don't leave me, Blair. Everyone leaves me." Jim begged. 

"I'm not leaving you, Jim. You were never here. Goodnight. Lock-up please." And Blair walked sadly to his room. 

Jim followed him into the bed and said, "I'm going to work on it, Blair. I promise. I'm very fond of you and I don't want to give you up." 

"Listen to yourself, Jim. You can't even say you love me right. You're not here. You're somewhere else. Now leave." Blair pointed to the door, as if Jim were brain dead and didn't know his way out. 

Jim again didn't leave. He pulled Blair closer to him and he whispered, "I love you so much, it hurts. I mean it physically hurts, baby. But I do love you. Give me some time, please?" 

"Four weeks, Jim. And that's all. We've been together for almost five months and I know nothing about you." 

"When you fucked me the first time, it was my first time. Thank you for being so gentle. I was scared to death. I had always topped. You made me fall for you that day right off." Jim said. 

Blair looked at him and wondered how far Jim would go with this. "Yeah? Well, when I was fucking you, that was my first time, ever. I'd never been with a man. That way, anyhow. Blow-jobs and jerk-off's were it." 

"I was your first?" Jim had tears in his eyes. Something else new for Jim. 

"Yes, you were my first. And I knew after I was inside of you, I would never be able to be with anyone else again." Blair was pushing now. 

"I'm glad because I don't want you in anyone else. I want you for just me, Blair. I want you all to myself." 

"My favorite thing you do, is before you fuck me or suck me, you touch my balls so softly, and then begin to lick them. I want to scream sometimes from the feelings I get." Blair smiled over at Jim. 

"I love doing that to you, too. You taste so fantastic that I want to scream to your neighbors and say, 'Come and taste, he's great.'" Jim smiled back. 

Laughing, Blair kissed Jim. Jim kissed him back and said, "I want to do this for an hour. Then we'll make love. Agreed?" 

"Agreed. I loved what you did to me tonight at the library. It made me so fucking hot." 

"I could tell. I almost came in my pants while I was doing it to you. Maybe I'd like it, too. Who knows?" Jim asked himself more than anyone. 

"Jim, come with me." Blair pulled him to his car in the parking lot and they took off. 

"Where are we going?" Jim was almost scared. 

"Cascade Park. I love it there at night and it's perfect for what I want to do." Blair answered. 

Arriving, Jim didn't want to get out of Blair's car. "Come on. This will be nice. Blair sat him down on a park bench and he sat beside him. Across the way were two girls. Blair unzipped Jim's pants and said, "Get these down, boy." 

Jim couldn't believe he was doing this. He lifted his ass up and Blair pulled them down. Next, Blair was able to pull Jim's boxer briefs down. Jim sat there naked on the bench and the two women were watching like hawks. Blair reached over and started stroking Jim's cock until it was hard. Blair rubbed Jim's belly with his other hand and began fisting Jim's cock furiously. Jim was breathing very heavy as his orgasm got closer. One of the girls got up and started over and Jim got more turned on by that. He shot his load all over himself and Blair. 

Blair licked everything off with the girl still watching, getting closer and closer to them. He looked up and said, "Mine." Jim watched the girl turn to leave and he could smell her arousal. 

Jim pulled Blair up and got his jeans and his boxers down to his knees and then pulled him onto his lap. Jim began to play slowly, making Blair insane with need. "Jim, do me faster. Do me harder." Blair was panting and begging. The girls across the way were now playing with each other's cunt's. "Chief, they're playing with each other while they watch you. You're making them so crazy with need that they're touching one another. They want to fuck you bad." 

Jim started to fist Blair quick and hard because Blair really did need to come. He came screaming Jim's name and telling him how much he loved him. 

Jim licked him clean and then got him dressed. "Is that what you had in mind, Chief?" 

"Not even close. The top of my head wasn't supposed to come flying off, damn it." Blair laughed. 

"It was good for me, too, Chief." 

"I want to go back and do more, let's get to know each other better." Blair said. 

"Sounds good to me, baby." Jim held his hand as Blair drove them home. 

Once upstairs, they both got naked and laid in bed. "Jim, tell me what you like about me the most." 

"I like you with the kids. You're so great. I can tell what type of teacher you're going to be. And I wish I would have had a great one like you. They're damn lucky to have you." 

"You like my teaching skills?" Blair sounded pissed. 

"Well, it doesn't have to be sexual, right?" Jim asked. 

"Right. But teaching skills?" 

"All right, I see you're stuck on the teaching skills part. I saw your face light up when you looked at me, and I knew you were the one. The curls surrounding your face made me want to kiss you right then. You're beautiful, baby. You don't even know how gorgeous you are. I moved down and saw your compact body and knew I had to have you. You have the most beautiful cock I've ever seen." Jim said with love in his voice. 

Blair moved into Jim's space and had to sniffle a little bit. "Jim, that was wonderful. Now that's what I want to hear first. Then the teaching stuff." 

"Always the teacher. Correcting me all the time." Jim said with a huge laugh. "So, what did you like the most about me? 

"This is so friggin' easy. I saw you sitting at the desk reading and I saw the little tiny bald spot on the back part of your head, that led to the strong forehead, nose, chin and then we got to the shoulders. I realized why a deity would take away some of your hair. He was fucking jealous. Jim, you make me drool. Your body is perfect, but not just that, you have an intensity that draws me in closer and closer. There's nothing about you that could ever be unattractive, but you could give a Greek God a run for his money." 

Jim leaned into Blair and kissed him and they kept kissing until they both knew that they would be having sex soon. 

"Blair, show me how much you love me." 

And Blair did. 

The following morning Jim overslept and was cussing in the bathroom. Blair could hear him yelling at himself. 

"Simon's going to be pissed off and he's not going to believe the fucking truck not starting again. This has to stop, Jimbo." 

Blair's heart started to beat so hard, it felt like it was coming out of his chest. He knew that Jim was going to dump him. 

Jim came rushing out of the bathroom and said, "Chief? What's wrong?" 

"You're dumping me, aren't you?" How did he know something was wrong with me? Those sentinel studies are for him. Fuck, he's a fucking Sentinel. 

"No, not even close. I'll see you tonight. I have to run. I'm late again. We have to stop this." As Jim headed out the door he heard Blair's heart going too fast again. "Blair, what are you afraid of?" 

"You just said we have to stop this. This is me and you." Blair had tears in his eyes and was on the verge of all out crying. 

"Chief, I'll tell you what I mean tonight. Now go to class and be good." He kissed him one more time and flew out the door. 

Blair taught his classes and took the two he had to, and then went over to the library to just get caught up with some work. He began to grade papers for his Anthropology class and found himself happy that his students were doing well. Smart kids; just don't let them know that he knows. 

At 11:00 everyone got ready to leave and Blair locked up and put everything away. He hoped that Jim would come a little late, but he waited until midnight and still no sign of him. Blair got in his car and drove home. He had a feeling that things were never going to be the same again. 

He made himself something to eat, and then took a quick shower and got into bed. He was so sad and lonely. He had forgotten what it was like to sleep alone. Jim had spoiled him, big time. Sleep didn't come easy, but it at least did come. 

For two weeks all of the kids walked around like someone had died. They knew the man that Mr. Sandburg was in love with wasn't around anymore. They all mourned him. The loss was great, but the kids felt the loss the most. Part of their teacher was gone. No longer there was the smiling, loving, confident teacher of days gone by. 

Blair was standing at the desk in the library and heard someone behind him. He turned around to see a tall handsome black man staring at him. "Blair?" he said. 

"Who are you?" Blair said quietly. 

"I have a note from Jim. He made me promise I would give it to you. I'm sorry it took me so long." The man then handed him the envelope and walked out of the library. 

Blair sat down and opened it, scared to death of what he would find. Inside was a page written to Blair from Jim. It was Jim's handwriting and that Blair knew for sure. 

March 21,2003 

Dear Chief, 

I'm sorry that I have to send this with Simon. He's my  
boss. I've been working much harder than we had all   
thought. I had to go out of town and I won't be back for  
another week. 

I miss you so much. At night, I lie in bed touching myself   
hoping that you can feel it in your bed. I know that's   
dumb, but I still do it and think of you all the time. I   
love you, baby. Take care of yourself and be good. I'll be   
back. I promise. 

Jim 

Blair looked at the date and realized that Jim might be home sooner than he thought. He graded all of his papers and went around telling everyone hush all night long. The kids got big smiles on their face because that meant their Mr. Sandburg was back. 

Everyone was gone by 10:30 and Blair went ahead and locked up for the night. He had things to do when he got home. He was putting books away, when he heard someone banging very loudly on the front door. Blair came around the corner and saw Jim with a big smile on his face. 

Blair unlocked and opened the door and jumped into Jim's waiting arms. 

"I missed you so much, baby. I missed you. I missed you. I love you." Jim just kept telling him and kissing him. 

"We've got some things to discuss tonight, but I missed you, too. In fact, the kids were all ready to put out a bounty on you." 

"What do you mean? To kill me?" Jim looked confused. 

"No. To bring you back so they could have their old teacher back. I missed you so much, Jim." 

"Can I come to your apartment?" 

"Follow me?" Blair grabbed his work and locked up and drove to his apartment. When he got to the door he barely got the door open and Jim was pushing him into the bedroom. 

"Hey, do you mind if we have a talk first?" Blair asked. 

"Sorry, Chief. When I get horny, I can't think." 

"Where were you?" 

"I can't tell you." Jim said quietly. 

"Get out, Jim. I don't want to be with a man that can't share his life with me. I thought you left me and then I thought you fucking died. And I didn't know your fucking last name. So get the fuck out. I'm dumping you. No more pain and agony. Get out." Blair held the door open and Jim just looked at him. 

"Chief, I can't tell you certain things." 

"Get out." Blair screamed it this time. Jim could see he was on the verge of crying. 

"Blair, could I please talk to you first?" 

"I'm staying here by the door, the clock is ticking. Start talking now." Blair sounded so cold. 

"I'm a cop." Jim blurted out. 

"That's it? I'm a cop? Get the fuck out." 

"I'm scared, Blair. I don't want them to know. I'm not out. No one knows." Jim said sadly. 

"Simon knows." 

"No, Simon doesn't know." Jim argued. 

"When he gave me the note, he was giving me the once over. Believe me; I've had the look before. He was checking to see if I was good enough for you." 

"No way! He would have kicked my ass when I got back." Jim was trying to figure it out. 

"He knows. Ask him, Jim." 

"I can't fucking ask him. I may as well tell him then." 

"Well Duh." Blair was getting angrier. 

"I'm sorry that I hurt you, baby. I really am. But I don't want to be a gay cop." Jim stood there looking lost. 

"But, Jim, you are a gay cop." 

"I know, but no one knows. I'm still safe." 

"You think they'll hurt you or you'll be embarrassed?" Blair wanted to know. 

"I'd be embarrassed. I don't want them knowing what I do. I don't want someone guessing who sticks their cock up whose ass." Jim was ranting by now. 

"What's your name?" 

"I told you that. I wasn't lying. It's Jim." 

"Jim, don't play dumb. Your last name." Blair snipped. 

"Ellison. James Joseph Ellison. Happy now?" 

"You get out of here now, James Joseph Ellison. I don't need you or your fucking attitude in my apartment. I loved you more than anything and you threw that back in my face. I gave up anything and everything and you threw that back in my face. I gave up friendship ties and you fucked that for me, too. Man, you used me so much. You never loved me. You wanted a cock and an ass. And I filled both of those for you while you bid your time. Now please leave. And I never want to see you again." 

Jim walked out the door and went to his truck. He sat down there for a long time and then walked back up to Blair's door. He stood ready to knock and he heard Blair crying. Then he heard what Blair said. 

"What did you think, Sandburg? Did you think that gorgeous man was going to settle for you? No one ever really wants you. He was so sweet. At least you thought he was sweet. He had you so fucking fooled. You wanted him to love you so much that when he said it, you believed him. He made love to you like no one ever did. And what's even better is that he let you make love to him. He always made you feel important, yet you weren't. He made you feel loved, yet you weren't. He made you feel beautiful, yet you aren't. Face it, time to move on and hopefully it'll be someone that doesn't mind damaged goods." 

Then Jim heard heartbreaking sobs coming from the apartment. Blair kept a key above the door jam, so Jim got it and opened up the door and walked in. He could hear Blair crying harder and harder as he got closer to the bedroom. 

Jim saw a naked Blair lying on the bed, so he took his clothing off also. He slid into bed with him and Blair tried to tell him to leave but Jim was holding on too tight. They fell asleep that way. Both men crying. Yes, real men do cry. 

Blair woke up in Jim's arms and looked at his face and saw that he had been crying too. He snuggled closer to the big man and kissed him. "Jim, I want to be in your life, but I can't. I have to have all of you. I'm selfish. I'm sorry." 

Jim kissed him back and asked, "Can you give me a little time to prepare everyone at my job? Then can you move in to my loft? There's an office and everything. It would be perfect for you." 

"I have to think on it, Jim. Okay?" Blair asked. 

"Yeah, I understand. This time it was Jim that had the sad look on his face. 

"Jim, I need all of you. I don't want you to be embarrassed of us at any time. If you can't do that, then let's stop now." Blair hoped he would stop. 

"I'll talk to you later, Chief." Jim got dressed and was gone. Blair watched out the window and saw Jim turn around and give a small wave to him that almost broke Blair's heart. Blair realized right then that he might actually hate being gay. 

That night, Jim came in as usual near closing and Blair wondered what was up. He just stayed downstairs, but finally had to check Jim out. When he walked up the stairs, Jim looked up and said, "Hey, Chief. Just studying." 

"That's good. I won't keep you." As he turned and started down the stairs, he heard, "Blair, something I really love about you is the way you hold me in bed. It doesn't matter to you that I'm bigger. You still hold me tight. I love that. And I wanted to tell you how much it meant to me." 

"I'm glad, Jim. I loved holding you." Blair walked down the stairs. Blair started grading papers again, and this time wondered if these kids had even come to class, when he looked up and Jim was leaning over the counter. "What's up, Jim?" 

"I thought of something else you do to me that I really love. I love when I'm on my belly and you kiss the backs of my legs, working your way up and get to my ass and then you just kiss my butt. It's so fucking sweet. The first time you did it I almost cried but I didn't want you to think I was a wuss." 

"I loved doing that to you, also, Jim." Blair almost cried this time. 

"And another thing is when we lay there in the morning and I've got the morning boner and you play with it soft and nice? One morning you were just doing it and not paying attention and it made me cry." 

"I know it made you cry. I just didn't want to draw attention to that. Jim, you don't seem like the type that would want people to see him cry or even know that he cries." 

"That's true. That's very true. But with you, I feel like I can be myself, Blair." 

"Good, I'm glad." 

"Are you still thinking about moving in?" Jim asked hopefully. 

"Jim, I think we might be rushing it." 

"Can I move in with you?" Jim implored. 

"You would move in with me? My little place?" Blair was shocked. 

"Blair, I'll move anywhere, as long as it has you in it." 

"In that case, I'll go to your place. It sounds nice." Blair smiled at Jim. 

"Anything else you want to tell me, Blair?" 

"Yes, I'm going to put you in my Sentinel study. No one will know your name and that way we can do a bunch of tests all the time. You'll be with 40 other students, so it's not like anyone would even notice you, other than me. I know that you're having trouble with your senses. We'll get that all under control. I'll help you manage things at your job and maybe even get a ride-a-long status to help you out with your senses. You'll have to tell Simon, of course." 

"Sounds good to me, Chief. Anything else?" 

"Well, as a matter of fact, there is something else. You belong to me and only me. So you fuck someone else, I'll kick your ass. Is this understood?" 

"Yeah, I understand, Chief. Jealous, are we?" 

"Don't make fucking jokes, Jim. I mean it. You fuck around on me and I'm gone. I won't ever come back." 

"Chief, I would never do that to you. I love you too much." 

"One more thing, Jim. I'd like to make a really nice dinner and invite all of your friends over. I need to meet them and they need to meet me. What do you say?" 

"Tell me when and what we're serving." Jim kissed Blair and pulled him into his arms just to hold him. 

"I'm also going to meet your dad and your brother. I hope you'll come too." Blair said laughing. 

"Very funny. Yeah, my brother is going to love you." Jim pulled Blair's hair as Blair started to clean up and close for the night. 

"How about we go upstairs, Chief. Once more for the road?" 

Blair ran up there so fast that Jim was howling with laughter. 

As Blair prepared Jim for a good fucking, Jim was making all sorts of noise. Blair held his finger to his lips and said, "Hush." 

Jim knew right then that things would be all right. And he was correct. 

The End 

Author's Acknowledgements: This is Lisa's idea. Blame her. Thank you, Lisa. You're an angel. Thank you, Mary, for the beta.


End file.
